Alicia Lopez’s Musings

Posts Tagged ‘inspiration

Yes, that much awaited month of June has arrived!

Here in my mountain home it has arrived, bone dry.  We have been hoping for rain, but it has eluded us, and the fires have started.  You have probably heard of the large one devouring acres in the Gila; we have had a smaller one here, in the Hondo Valley, which has been 90% contained at last count.  Fire is the dreaded word that we mountain dwellers abhor, and do everything in our power to avoid.

In our village of Ruidoso outdoor smoking is prohibited, and I hope all our visitors adhere to that.  It is not that we don’t want you enjoying our mountains and coolness,  it is just that we ask you respect our environment and our home.

Other than that, the summer season is in full swing.  The racing season started on the Memorial Day weekend, and we had quite a crowd at the Ruidoso Downs Racetrack.  I say  “we” because I am part of that  scene, being employed at  Billy the Kid Casino adjacent to the track.  Parking is at a premium, and when we find one, we are jubilant.  I am not going to reveal the parking space which I have found, not too many people know about it.  It is not that far from the building, but I still get walked to my car by the security guards, God Bless them.

I still love my job, it has taken my life into new directions, having people to talk to, and  laugh with.  It  has  done away with a lot of the lonely times.  After three years I still miss my hubby, but have learned to live with the loss.

This month we will be celebrating the 50th birthday of my youngest, and his siblings will be here  to rib him about old age. Not too much ribbing as  they are now all over fifty, and I still think of myself as young!  To me, age is just a number; there are now a few more aches and pains, but I have been blessed with good health and good genes; my mom lived to 99!

There is sadness within my familia, as two brother in-laws are deteriorating in health; it will be only a matter of time before they too leave this earth.  I talk to my sisters often, and offer whatever encouragement I can, and I travel to El Paso at least once every three weeks to be with them.  My sister in California is the one most out of reach, but always in our hearts, prayers, and thoughts.

Another sadness is the fire that devastated my son’s home in El Paso; I went to see it on my last trip there, although he had asked me not to.  My view of the house was of a burned out shell, the roof  had been removed and what could be saved was taken, not much left.  They are lucky to be alive, thanks to their little dog and a neighbor who woke them.  As I told them, things can be replaced, but not human life.

The jubilation of June is now taken one day at a time.

Love and good health to all.

Hasta La Vista

I’m not really dancing around the May pole, with flowers in my hair, and a soft billowing dress drifting softly through the breeze.  Doesn’t that provide quite a picture?

My thoughts are the ones prancing about from place to place, thinking of all the things that must be done to ready the lawn and garden for spring and summer, and knowing that the energy needed is simply not there.  Spring always brings to mind planting flowers and seedlings, fertilizing the grounds, etc.

The flowers which I usually plant are those that are not favored by our deer population, mostly marigolds, whose scent seems to drive them away.  One year I planted petunias and assorted foliage which looked beautiful one Friday afternoon, and when I returned on Sunday night from a visit to my hometown, were nothing but chewed down stems.  My dear deer friends had paid me a visit.

They also like to feed on newly formed grass leafs, which does nothing for my lawn.  With these thoughts in mind, I have almost decided to forgo all planting.  This, along with the watering ban in the village, somehow dampens the enthusiasm that this season brings.

May also brings thoughts of another year added to my life.  I have been blessed with good genes and good health, and many people tell me I don’t look my age, which will turn to 81 on May 1st.  The fact that I don’t act my age  helps.

How does one act her age?  I have no idea, because I act the way I feel, which is usually upbeat and optimistic. My children are all coming over the weekend to celebrate another year.

When my hubby passed away three years ago I asked God why he had left me here on earth, when I had asked to be taken with him.  I know there is a purpose and a reason, and I do not question it.  I only hope that I can live up to whatever He has in store for me, but I also ask , what is it?

My job has opened up my life, I have the days planned for me.  I meet people, talk and laugh with complete strangers, and when my days off appear, I am happy to be home.  As I have stated before, my little pooch is the one who is lonely now, and is over joyed when I am home.

I have become more involved with my local Democratic Party, with the time that I have from my job.  That is also a source of pride and accomplishment, a feeling that I am contributing to worthy causes.

All in all, I do have reasons to dance around that May pole.

Excuse me if I sign off, I have to go shopping for a billowing dress.

Hasta la Vista

It’s been a long time since my last blog; no not illness, or anything catastrophic; just procrastination on my part, and perhaps self doubt.  SELF DOUBT!!! ME???

Yes, I started to question my reasons for writing a blog in the first place, forgetting that it was started to place my thoughts in print, to get them out of my system, to relief the pressure building within me  after the death of my hubby.  So many thoughts whirling around in my brain, they had to have a way of escaping , and they did, by my writings.

The doubts came that perhaps they were not entertaining; but I have heard from so many of my friends and family telling me they miss reading my blogs, that I have started to believe again.  So here goes, more of my musings.

There is no better way than to begin by wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.  Yes, you read it right, not Happy Holidays.  I send that greeting to my non Christian friends who also celebrate their own beliefs.

Christmas is about the birth of a baby, born in a lowly manger, who was destined to become King, not of this earth, but of our souls.  No, it is not about buying that perfect gift, or spending a certain amount of money,  or decorating your house.  It is about reviewing your life, finding it wanting, as the majority of us surely must, and then doing something about it.

Did you really have to start that ugly rumor about your co-worker, turn your head when asked for alms, not have the time to seek out your family, ignore the needs  of those less fortunate than you?  Now is the time to resolve to change, and ask yourself is this what Jesus would want?

Yes, he wants us to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, love our neighbors as ourselves.  We don’t have to go on a crusade seeking the Holy Grail, just look around us and do what we can to help our fellowmen.  It doesn’t take much to be kind, a smile, a friendly gesture; rather than an abrupt look of contempt to an outstretched hand.  No human is a bigger hero than when he kneels to help someone in need.

It has been said many times before, HE is the reason for the season, now all we have to do is to BELIEVE IT, and live it.

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad y Paz en la tierra

Hasta la Vista

Yes, it’s that time again, falling leafs, falling doubts, falling spirits; but there is a brighter side, rising sun,  rising hopes,  rising aims.

Our beautiful mountain village is again experiencing the beginning of fall, and with it comes Aspenfest, when we admire the turning of the leafs from green to glorious reds, yellows, and orange.

This week end we are full of tourists who have ventured here to help us celebrate the turning of the seasons.  There is to be a parade on Saturday morning, and for the first time in the sixteen some odd years since I have resided here, my beloved Democratic Party will not have a float.  Due to circumstances beyond our control, we sadly came to the agreement it just would not be possible this year.  I know we will be missed, it has always been so much fun, tossing candies, waving flags, responding to greetings, and I have to admit, even some boos.  We are, after all, the minority in this Republican filled village.

The auto show and chili cook off  in Ruidoso Downs is also a part of this celebration.  The vintage automobiles are beginning to be seen in all their shining glory.  Stomachs are beginning to rumble at the thought of the tasting of the best chilis to be provided.  All in  all it is a wonderful way to start the season.

For years and years, previous to our move here,  we came , with our children and families, to spend this week end.  We loved it, and it became a tradition, followed by our permanent move to this location.  It has somehow gone by the wayside, with the death of my hubby, and we concentrate on meeting at Thanksgiving.

I have a lot to be thankful for; I have survived two and a half years by myself.  I will admit that I just existed for the first two years, and only for the past couple of months have started to live again.  My job has a great deal to do with this new life, I meet and talk to people, carry on with my co-workers, who are all very supportive of me, and have even taken to flirting with the customers.  I must shyly admit that I have had responses; it is quite a boost to my ego.

So my aim now is to live this life to the fullest, never to forget the past, but to make it part of my future.  I invite all my family and friends to tag along with me on this journey.  What do you say, que dicen?

Hasta la Vista

August crept up quietly, slowly entering my universe on tip toes.

I was prepared for another month of waiting, wondering, and speculating on the status of my life.  It was really going nowhere.  I had spent countless hours filling out applications, mailing resumes, going on interviews, etc. all for naught.  Tired of staying home and brooding, I went for a few hours of distraction to a local casino.

All the employees at this particular gaming spot have always been extremely friendly and helpful. I was not surprised to have the marketing director ask me what I had been doing.  My reply was, “”Still looking for a job”.  She looked at me speculatively and said, “I’ve got one, you interested?”

BOLT OF LIGHTING! !  After I finished hugging her, I asked her what the job was.  I was hired on the spot to be in the Players Club, signing in new members, etc.

So, I am now working , thank the Good Lord.  It is an extremely interesting and varied job;  I get to meet new people, greet, welcome, and help all who approach my station.  I have always been a friendly, outgoing person, so this suits me just fine.

I truly believe that God works in strange ways his wonders to perform; I am a beaming, shining example.

Since my hubby’s death, evenings and week-ends have always been the loneliest for me.  It was those times that I found myself wandering and wondering about my life.  My new hours have now filled those times, and I am very happy to be home on my hours and days off.

My children were all a little worried about some of my evening hours, but the son who lives here and I have worked out a schedule wherein he comes to my house after his working hours, feeds my pooch, lets him out for a time, and then closes up the house for the evening shift.  He has always been here for me.  Of course I have to call him the instant I get in, and let him know I am home and locked in for the night.

I also have the added assurance of having the security guards regally escort me to my car!

The only downside is that I will not be able to visit my out of town children as often as I did; I am sure we will work something out as time progresses.

The one who is not happy is my pooch, Chico.  He had gotten used to having me around all the time, and to say he is unhappy is an understatement.  The hours when I am home, he follows me around constantly, and demands much more petting, which I am more than willing to do.  He has been my constant companion and comfort in my widowed life.

And so I go forth, praying and hoping for the best.  Please tag along with me.

Hasta la Vista

Happy New Year, Feliz Ano Nuevo!

Today marks the beginning of a new book,  page one , chapter one,  in our lives.  What we write on it, and the consequences will be up to us.

I hope that what I assemble will be hopeful and courageous, with a little bit of humor thrown in.  Hopeful in the sense that my life will be worth something  more other than just breathing, surely the good Lord kept me on this earth for a good reason. Courageous with a sense that I will be able to handle whatever comes my way with my normal sense of humor to sustain me.

This February will mark the second anniversary of my hubby’s passing, and I can see the difference in my life.  I still feel the loneliness, but that, I am told, will never go away, just diminish in strength.  I have done so many things I never did before, to the smallest of tasks (putting W D 40 on the hinges of my doors) to the largest (actually driving in the snow with all the advice I had gotten from my hubby in the past) to the mundane ( surviving a black out with candles all over the house).

For someone who had all the above, and everything else,  done by my spouse, I am a little proud of myself.  I know he certainly would be.

One thing that I wish I had paid more attention to is the upkeep of the car.  I wish I knew more about the mysterious workings of the engine, and all its components.  I have told the guys at my work to teach their spouses more about this, so if they ever find themselves in my situation they will be more knowledgeable; but as usual, this is something that they find falls in their domain.

I find myself thankful that I was my hubby’s helper in all his projects around the house, I know what each tool is for, and how to use it.  I am also very thankful for the son who lives here, who has taken over as my handyman.  He too learned a lot from his Dad while helping him with the bigger tasks.

I am also thankful for the companionship of my pooch, Chico, who is such a comfort to me.  People who do not have pets will not understand the strength you derive from the love and devotion of a furry little animal.  He is the one who faithfully waits for me by the door, who guards the house, who is there as either a sounding or a crying board, putting his paw on me, as if to say “I understand”.

While my life is not completely full,  it is still undergoing some of the growth that I know I will eventually have.  I will welcome and wait for it, for as long as it takes.

I am thankful for my health, my faith, my children, and my extended family.  These all help to fill the void.

Hasta La Vista

Each day of my life now seems like a newly purchased book;  I am eager to start that first page and find new adventure and perhaps some mysteries;  I am, after all,  one of the biggest readers of mystery novels, next to my sister.

Before I begin on my page of the day, let me reveal to you about the “lending” library that she and I have.  I purchase a book, read it, and send it to her.  She does the same, but the books she returns seem to have multiplied like bunnies; I send her three, she returns twelve.  That mystery is solved when she explains that her daughter, also an avid reader, sends her novels she has purchased and read, so I end up with shopping bags full of books.

Before I began my new job I could finish a book in two days, and after compiling those, I would travel to my local paperback exchange, and return with even more books. My reading has slowed down a bit, as I have my days filled now with my new job.

This is when the new pages of my life begin;  I actually look forward to getting up in the morning with my day scheduled for work.  I never knew how much I enjoyed working until I no longer had a job.  There is just so much you can do around the house, and when those chores are finished, the rest of the day looms ahead.  I volunteered with my local Democratic Party, something my hubby and I did together, he was such an avid Democrat.  When his illness progressed he could not do as much, and I preferred to keep him company, so my volunteering dwindled.  I am just beginning to get back in that groove.

Each day brings new things into my life, new people I can talk to.  When I was home alone my conversations were mostly with my pooch, who listened intently, and agreed with everything I said.  He was, and still is, my constant companion, being privy to my saddest moments, sharing my tears with him, and also my happy thoughts.

I hurry home to him at noon, let him out in the yard, have my lunch, play with him a bit, give him a “dental” treat, and leave.  In the evening, the same schedule follows;  he demands more petting now since I am gone for the day.

My new pages are now filled with the wonderful views of the beginning of fall.  The days are quite cool in the mornings and evenings.  We had the annual motorcycle rally last week in our village, and the roar of the “motos” were heard everywhere, and you have not seem anything until  you view the hundreds and hundreds of  bikers filling every inch of space in your town. They are all welcomed, but you can hear the combined sighs of relief when they leave; we have the serenity back.

So, life goes on, and I float along with it.  Next week will be the annual Aspencade weekend, when the leaves are beginning to turn to the lovely golds and reds.

Come see it with me.

Hasta la Vista