Alicia Lopez’s Musings

Posts Tagged ‘healing

There’s a wonderful world out there.

I had forgotten about it since the death of my husband five months ago.  My world was wound around the pain of losing him, the loneliness of being without him, the confusion of being alone.

Some of the above has dissipated, but I cannot say that all of it is gone; I have been slowly reawakening to the world around me.

Yes, even the closest people to me have already gone back to their lives, and I realize that I must at least begin to do the same.

I came back home after two weeks of traveling between children’s homes, and even visited Florida, to a house of a friend, who is an extended family member.  She too, is a widow, and gave me many insights in to our mutual situations.  Unlike me, she has been widowed for five years, and has formed a new life in a new community.  I hope eventually, I will be able to do the same.

While there, my daughter, son-in-law, and I walked the beach every morning.  It took me longer because I stopped to talk to people, which has always been my nature.

I compared my pooch, back in El Paso with my son, to the pets they were walking, and I spoke doggie talk to them.

I stopped and conversed with parents and their children, admired their sand castles, and was amazed at one family who constructed a huge sea turtle.  The next day, the tide had eaten half of it.  I collected sea shells.

Speaking with a lot of single women, I found out that the majority of them were also widows, and we commiserated with each other.  There is a group out there that, through mutual grief, is bound together.

Back home again, I threw myself into the yard work which I had neglected.  The lawn and garden was a shared joy with my beloved, and I found solace in getting it into shape.

I started attending meetings with my Democratic party, and I was welcomed with open arms.  I began walking with my constant four legged companion.

Slowly but surely, the world around me is coming into focus.  The mountains are gloriously green, with the daily temperature in the 70’s and 80s’, and the nights nice and cool.  My husband’s pet name for our haven was “Cool Pines”.

Yes, there is a wonderful world out there.  I hope to discover more of it soon.

Hasta la vista.

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