Alicia Lopez’s Musings

Archive for August 2010

The crossroads which I mentioned on my last blog have suddenly become very clear.  I do not have to take either route, but remain steadily ahead.

My life has taken a new direction,  one which I find productive and exciting.

I FOUND A JOB!

Yes, after eighteen months of floundering, I have found an anchor.  Two very nice people thought that I was worthy of working for them.  It has done wonders for my self esteem, and has boosted my self confidence to its normal high state.

The mountain village in which I reside is small, and geared more toward tourism than commerce; but the infrastructure exists and we need carpenters, masons, and plumbers!  My new job is with a plumbing contractor, and I am finding it  both challenging  and deserving.  I have  come in contact with numerous customers who were also customers at my old job, one I held for ten years.  It is so rewarding to have them remember me.

When we first moved to Ruidoso, I did bookkeeping work for a plumbing contractor, but that was quite a few years ago.  There are many, many parts required for any plumbing job, and after a week of working, I find that my brain is slowly but surely remembering them.

It has been said that it is not what you know, but who you know, and that is how my job came around.  A friend of mine worked for this firm, but she quit when a school district hired her.  She had earned her teaching degree three years ago and had been applying for jobs ever since, and suddenly everything fell into place, her new job and mine.  I am grateful that she recommended me.

So I shall remain in the cool pines for a while longer; the only unhappy one  is my pooch who did not want me to work and leave him by himself, but he is adjusting to the solitary daytime life.

I now find a reason for getting up in the morning, without the whole empty day looming ahead.  Being busy and among friendly people keeps me from  dwelling too much in the past, which I tended to do, being around all the reminders of my lost happy life.   My hubby is always in my heart, but I feel him urging me on to a new life without him.  I am beginning to think that I can do it.

Wish me luck.

Hasta la Vista

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Have you ever come to a crossroads in your life, pausing and looking right and left, wondering which road is your destiny?

I have come to that exact spot and am a little “bothered and bewildered” as the song states.  My predicament stems from the question , should I sell my house and move back to my hometown of El Paso, or should I stay and brave the loneliness, and uncertainty of my life as it stands now?

My husband and I loved our life here in Ruidoso, but since his death I have found myself doubting my existence in this beautiful peace of earth.  I visit my children in Dallas and El Paso, and love my stay there, but the missing link is still back home among the peaceful pines.  I miss the calm, the serenity, the beauty and my house; but most of all, I miss my hubby.  Would it be different anywhere else?  It has been seventeen months since his passing, and each day brings me closer to that decision.  Financially, I would be better off by selling, but spiritually, I’m not sure.

I have spent the last few weeks painting and sprucing up the house, with the help of the son who lives here.  My biggest regret in selling would be leaving him here; he has taken his Dad’s place as my handyman, and  daily support system.

The house has not been put up for sale, but word of mouth has brought several people to see it.  Hope is eternal, and if it is God’s will, then it will happen.  I place myself at his mercy.

The weather has been wonderful, we are getting some rain almost every day, so the forest is at its pristine best.  The days are cool, the temperature drops about 20 degrees after the moisture from heaven, so when I see the weather reports from around the country, I am so happy I am at this place at this time .

My hometown beckons to me, I have two sisters there, a son, and countless livelong friends; I also have my hubby at the Fort Bliss National Cemetary.  Here in the cool pines I have many acquaintances, but very few friends.   Do you see my predicament?

Hasta La Vista