Alicia Lopez’s Musings

A NEW YEAR

Posted on: February 22, 2010

Almost the entire world believes that the New Year starts on January 1.  I believed it too until I realized that my world was not in sync with everyone else’s.

My world, as I saw it then, ended on February 20, 2009, the date of my husband’s passing.  I could not see past that date to any future.  After 59 years of marriage losing your life partner was just too much to digest.  How could I possibly live without him?  As I have stated before, my faith and my children sustained me through the hardest days of my life, and continue to do so to this day.

I did live, and continue to do so, without him by my side.  I speak to him everyday, as I did when he was alive, telling him of my problems, what I accomplished that day, and things that I put aside.  It comforts me, and I believe that he hears me.

Our children all came to Ruidoso to attend the first anniversary mass of his death at our place of worship, St Joseph’s Mescalero Apache Mission in Mescalero, New Mexico.  How he loved that church and its community; when we first attended mass there he told me he felt like he was finally home.  Being there has also helped me to cope, and I believe the congregation  has been a large part of it.

My heart was filled with gratitude and pride when I saw all our family there, not only our children, but sisters, nieces, and brothers-in-law, who drove from El Paso to attend.  My cup runneth over.

After the mass everyone congregated at the church hall, and I had so many people come and speak to me about him.  He used to sing in the choir, and Father Paul, our pastor, commented on the fact that he missed seeing his smiling face every Sunday.

It was a very personalized service, and I will always to grateful for that.

My New Year started that day; I will go forward to the future, praying for the best; keeping his memory alive in my heart, because  he was, after all,  the love of my live.

Hasta La Vista

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4 Responses to "A NEW YEAR"

Mom,

Thanks for writing such a beautiful article. I cannot begin to relate to what you have been through this past year. I do know that I will always be there for you. This past weekend was wonderful with all the family there to honor Dad. Father Paul’s words about Dad brought tears to my eyes because I was thinking the same thing. I loved watching him sing in the choir. I know we will all continue to keep his memory alive not only because he was a great man, he was a loving father.

Mom,

I enjoyed being in Ruidoso this past weekend with you and the family. I know the past year was hard for you to go through. I am always here for you, as are my brothers and sisters. I know that my pain for Dad’s passing is just a fraction of yours. I pray for you daily that God give you the strength to continue you life without Dad. I love you always.

Fernie

Your musings about life without Dad, as always, bring me to tears. I understand the depth of your grief, and I constantly find myself wishing there was something I could do to help ease your pain and loneliness.
The service was so nice and I am very glad that our family, including aunts and cousins were there to honor and remember Dad.
Father’s words were so special – I’m sure Dad would have smiled from ear to ear.

I love you,
Sib

[…] A NEW YEAR February 2010 3 comments 4 […]

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