Alicia Lopez’s Musings

Archive for November 2009

I journeyed back today from my visit to our children in Dallas.  The time passes so swiftly, I can hardly believe a week has gone by.

This is the norm, the days pass by so slowly when you are looking forward to that trip, and they fly by when you are actually at your destination and enjoying the assorted family members surrounding you.

We spend the majority of the time talking, laughing, remembering, and sometimes crying.  As the holidays approach, we look forward to them with some trepidation.  This will be the first holiday season without my beloved.  To them it will be the first without their father, and grandfather.  He was so enthusiastic about everything that pertained to this time, that he infused it to everyone.

We will change a few things about the celebration, having decided to draw names this year for the first time in our history;  I can say in half a century, since he and I were married fifty eight years. We always did the shopping together, he carrying the packages and giving his nod of approval for whatever I chose.  His expertise was with the manly things, the girly ones he usually left to me.

This Thanksgiving we will all be together, except for my granddaughter who lives in New York, and a grandson who cannot bear to leave his dog in a kennel.  I told him if I didn’t have three dogs  already invited to the feast, I would tell him to bring his Maddie, but she is much larger than the other three pooches and I can foresee problems.  People who are not dog lovers will wonder at his decision to not come, but I completely understand;  I have been a dog person for years.

So, I look forward to their coming and to our time together.  They always love Ruidoso, and cannot bear the thought that one day I may have to sell the house and leave, but Father Time has a way of diminishing mere mortals, and I am a realist.  I will have to move closer to where I have more family and medical support, although my son who lives here tells me he would take care of me by himself, but I would not tie him down to an ailing mother, he still has his own life to live.

Hopefully that will be in the future, relegated to “some day”.  My health is good, and I am slowly but surely learning to live again.

Hasta la Vista

For the first time in nine months, since I became a widow, I  actually used a calendar for my schedule.

The months behind me were empty, just as my heart was.  There was no joy in my daily life, just drudging steps taken to make the day disappear.  I was startled to see Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas ads making their appearances;  they just seemed to tumble together.

In our family, the majority of birthdays, anniversaries, etc. fall during this season, and it seems that we are left breathless until the new year.

To say there is joy in my heart now is going a bit far, but I do have the flutterings and beginnings of it.  All my children are coming to celebrate Thanksgiving, something that has become a tradition, since my hubby loved to cook that big bird for the day, and we, in turn, loved to eat it.

With some trepidation, my children asked  if I was up to continuing with their coming.  One of my sons even offered to have the turkey at his house.  I thought about it seriously, and decided that we should continue to observe the day as we had for so many years, for as long as we could, remembering that he loved to have everyone around us for that day, and for his birthday that followed.

It also happens that we used to celebrate three birthdays at the same time, his, our daughter’s, and one of our son-in-law’s.

We agreed to continue the tradition without the birthdays.  One son in law is turning 60 this year, so I will be journeying to Dallas for that big day.  This is when my calendar use came in; there are several occasions with different days where I will have to be present.

Please let me brag on something that made my day.  I was attending a meeting and mentioned the trip to Dallas and the occasion for it; one young lady commented on the fact that I did not look old enough to have a 60 year old son in law!  I took it as a big compliment, and beamed for the remainder of the meeting.

On my list of things to do I also have a brunch at one of the local casinos, and I invited a gal from my Democratic Party to attend with me.  She does not drive or gamble, but does eat, and she readily agreed.  I hope we win one of the big prizes.

The day after that feast, I will be leaving for Dallas for a one week stay.  After returning, I hurry back home to take care of a couple of things, then drive to El Paso three days later to house and dog sit at my son’s.  When they come back, I will journey home, carrying the bird with me, to begin preparations for the big day.  One daughter will be here the following day,  and the rest of the clan will follow shortly.

I wish the rest of my life was as busy.

Feliz Dia de Gracias

Hasta la Vista



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