Alicia Lopez’s Musings

Coming Home

Posted on: September 5, 2009

100_0601I found myself, for the first time since my beloved died, looking  forward to coming home.

It has been six months.  Each time I returned from a visit to children and relatives, I realized that I was entering the same empty house that I had left, and the pain hit.  It has not lessened, but just the joy of arriving at  the house which we so lovingly tended, helps to ease the eternal feeling of loss.

I gaze with pride at the newly painted deck, the freshly mowed lawn,  and think, this is My house.

Although I have been gearing myself towards selling, sometimes thinking of it gets overwhelming.  Never to enjoy again the feeling of self esteem over the additions that we both made, the office, storage room, the wall papering, painting, the covered wrap around deck, the parquet floor in the kitchen.  They all served to enhance and increase the value of our home.  Offsetting these thoughts are the lonely days and nights, in a village where I have loads of acquaintances, but very few friends.

I don’t know who was most upset , my pooch or I, after finding that deer had eaten all my flowers while we were away.  I consider these four legged creatures my friends, as long as they eat the wild flowers that grow all over the place, but not the little  plants which I so lovingly cared for and tended.  They were blooming profusely when I left, now there are only stumps left.

Today the culprit showed up again.  It was a stag with four point horns; he was getting ready to jump over the fence into our yard, when my great protector sensed him, and flew out in a rage, as far as the steps, from where he barked ferociously.

The stag only stared at him, and stood his ground,until I came out and told him to leave.  He dared me for a bit, but then finally turned around and left. I’m sure he’ll try to get back in and get the rest of the flowers, but we will be on guard.

My visit to our children in Dallas was wonderful, I got to see all of them and had the bonus of seeing my granddaughter, who lives in New York, fly in while I was there.  I met her boyfriend, a very nice young man whom I approve of.  They are talking marriage, and I certainly hope the best for them, for, as the song goes “I’ve had a love of my own”.

Believe it or not, after 30 years since my last bowling game, I went bowling again!  It was with my granddaughter and her sweetie, and we had a roaring good time.  When we went home my son in law informed me that he had a score of 72 at golf, and I retorted that score was our high  at bowling, so you can imagine what our game looked like.

The days are getting shorter, and the feeling of fall is in the air.  I don’t know whether to be happy or sad.

Hasta la vista

4 Responses to "Coming Home"

This is a great article. I feel the same way about the house and Ruidoso as Dad did. There are alot of memories I cherish about it and each time that I am there, rekindles more. Keep on writing! I love you!

This article made me smile. We look forward to seeing the house again in November. For me, it will be the first time there since this past February. I don’t know how it will feel. We love you and are counting the days until our next meeting.

Hi Maw, beautiful writing! The house looks great, you should be proud of the work you and “your helpers” have done. Continue to write your thoughts and hopes. We look forward to reading them.

Love always, Rick & Debbie

At long last I am getting caught up on your heartfelt and thoughtful writings. They make me smile and they make me cry.
I truly enjoy reading them.

Just like Dad, I too am very proud of your talent.

He would also be proud of the progress you have made these past 6 months. His love for you and you for him are truly a source of strength.

I look forward to more of your musings.

I love you,
Sib

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